If you could take back one thing you said in anger, what would it be and why?

It was nearer to dark when I found him at last assisting in the loading of a ship. For a long time and at a distance I studied a tall muscular man, his hair and beard close cropped, peppered with gray, but looking every bit as handsome as I remembered him. Goddess! I could have fallen to my knees when he looked directly up at me! If one of the Gods had shot an arrow straight through my heart at that moment, I would have felt less. A sudden panic gripped my heart as he began coming toward me.

“Fanny?” he said softly, “What are ye doing in Barbados?” There was no fiery recognition behind his eyes, nor in his composure. There was no sign of any of the impassioned joy at laying eyes upon me again that I had hoped for or imagined. My mouth felt as stiff as planter’s cotton and as dry as the sand at low tide.

“I have been looking a long time for you, Douglas,” I said, “you look well.” And i’faith, he did. The years had been kind to him and in my woman’s vanity, I prayed that I too had aged favourably with the grace of the Goddess, and that not too much wisdom showed itself in the lines upon my face and form. At least I was not so ragged as I had been when Captain Myngs had found me and I was thankful I had asked for a dress among the things that had been purchased for the work that I did for Myngs.

“I’ve married,” Douglas said simply, turning his eyes from me.

“Why is it,” I scoffed shaking my head, “that yer niece, and every one else seems so dead set on informing of me of what I have known. I have spoken to Diannae and spent the evening with her. E’en if I did not possess anything of the sight, i’faith, I’d be deaf, dumb and blind and addled besides if I did not know!” I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks and my hands tremble slightly.

“I dinna say you were addled – ” he began, but I cut him off abruptly.

“Don’t ye know what to do now that I am here? You donna have to do a thing, Douglas, except keep yourself safe and heed my warning. Mengs separated us once, and he means to take all that ye have left.”

“So ye’ve warned me. Your work here is finished. It was good to see you again, Fanny,” he said with a slight smile,” I am glad to know that you are well. Goodbye.” he turned to leave me standing there to look at him.

“No,” I said increasing my stride so that I came to stand in front of him, blocking his path. I stood just inches from his chest looking up into those powerful eyes and face,” You will not just dismiss me. You will need me with you.”

“That is out of the question.” he said. looking away, “‘Tis a man’s business, ye’ve no place along on this one.”

“No, it’s not out of the question, and if you try to prevent me from going, I shall go to the Pilot myself and plead my case.”

“Why would you be doing that, Fanny Fae?”

“Because Mengs is not as you remember him. He is a creature between the worlds now – like me, and you cannot go where I can. He is pure evil now, Douglas.” I said simply, knowing full well he would not accept that answer.

“Wytchery again! ” Douglas spat and scoffed at me in disgust.

“Are you dreaming you can fight him?” I asked, ” Do you dare call yourself a conjurer now? You donna know what your doing and aside from all that, I have a score to settle with him.”

“Why? Because he split us apart?” Douglas asked, ” It was not meant to be ‘tween us. Leave it alone, Fanny he said flatly,” Thank ye again for the warning. I shall be careful, never fear.”

“No, ” my voice lowered to a hushed angry whisper, “Ye will not, not without me. And there is something else – and you need to know, Douglas. Because of him and for being hounded constantly across the Caribe, I lost our son, yours and mine. “I said letting the full force of my words take effect. Maybe he would begin to realize why I had come this far to find him, “I did’na come here to mourn, but I do know that you’d never forgive me if I did’na tell you, Douglas.”

Like a bear he turned on me flame blazing in his eyes, I could see the sweat glistening on his muscles in the dim light of the sunset as he twitched with my latest revelation, “Ye’re lying!” he fairly shouted at me, “Ye left me and ran off with Mengs, and any child you lost couldna been mine! T’was most likely his!”

“Then it was an immaculate conception as much as the Blessed Virgin’s was for Mengs ne’er touched me! I ne’er gave him the opportunity!” I blasphemed boldly, “I have ne’er lied to you, Douglas, ne’er e’en once about the smallest of things, do ye think I could start lying to ye now? About something like this? You’re right, Douglas. The child was neér yours. The truth of the matter was I became a whore in Tortuga after you left. The child could have been any number of men’s, but no, you’re right. Not yours. May you perish then. To the depths with ye!“

My words burned, even in my own ears and I turned to go, the weight of sadness for me, for Douglas, dragged at my heart. Part of me wished that I would have passed along to the West with our son. How could I say to him that all of the things that ached in me, the knowing of what could have been was the worst? Damn my eyes that see between the worlds for the gift oft comes whenever it pleases, and abandons you when you have need of it! For all the powers that I possess, I would have my heart cleaved once again for loving Douglas O’Reily as I did. I did not hope to wrest him from his wife and children and I would he content to have merely been a lover from before or a mistress after, if only the truth be known. The truth of the matter is that he needed to know of Mengs’s treachery before they set sail to the East.

I bear responsibility that night for I never took back those words said in anger. Douglas in the end did meet his fate. I always ask how much of the fault was in fact mine that he did.


Muse: Fanny Fae
Fandom: Original Character / Folklore / Mythology
Word Count:1132

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11 responses to “If you could take back one thing you said in anger, what would it be and why?

  1. I am sorry you had to endure such a hard past, darlin’.
    You are as I have always said, meant for better things and far better lovers then Douglas or myself. For you deserve such happiness, you certainly should not had any of the harsh life you have recieved so far.

    • Don’t you e’en start that song and dance now, John Peters Ringo. Are you doubting me when I tell you that you have given me more happiness in my life now than I ever have received a’fore or since? Would you be one to discount that and take it from me now by denying your part in it all?

      *gives him a nefarious smile*

      Ye’d best think hard a’fore you answer too quickly now.

      • Now Fanny, I dont doubt your happiness. I just reckon you deserve a better quality of happiness is all. And I’d be a fool to take it from you, because I would be taking your love from myself at the same time.

        *Gives her a quirky smile* Do I need to ask Virgil, to set me up into protective custody for a bit?

      • *raises his hands and takes a step back*

        You’re on your own with your wife, Ringo. I think you better just nod and smile and take yer lumps like the rest of us husbands do.

      • You heard the man, John. *smiles*

        Ye’d best come here and take yer lumps where ye can. 😉

      • -Looks at Virgil. Looks at Fanny-

        Hear that? I hear Bill calling me! I better go find out what he wants.

        -Moves closer, warily, towards Fanny and places a quick kiss on her cheek. And runs.-

      • ~Fanny runs quickly after him, grabbing a pair of bolas from a nearby stump even as she runs she twirls them over her head and at John’s feet tripping him so that he falls headlong into the dirt. Without hesitation she jumps on him and seats herself on his chest _

        Now, I told ye, to take yer lumps, and there you be, not only with lumps on yer shins but a scraped elbow or two to boot. Now rather than loving you proper as I could have done, I’ll be nursing those wounds of yours!

        Surrender, Sir. I have the advantage. 😉

      • -lays on the ground with his eyes shut. Doesnt move, a smile on his lips-

        I am dead, you killed me. I cant surrender.

      • *appears thoughtful*

        Oh dear, oh dear, its the worst of fates it appears. I will have to work a spell and bring him back from the very jaws of death. I shall bribe Charon the Ferryman to give me back my beloved, but first to steal a kiss….

        *leans down and kisses his lips, grinding her hips into his* Perhaps I shall have to have my slaves carry him to my chambers.

      • -Opens his eyes and reaches for her. Returning her kiss with passion.-

        Darlin’, if you keep this up I reckon you will kill me, in the sweetest way possible.

        -Places another kiss on her mouth. His arms wrapping around her to pull her down to him-

        We oughta move to our bedroom, before we go beyond indecency.

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