I really love this post by Satsekekhem (Aubs). It definitely reflects where my head has been for the last five years or so.
TBH, I don’t know that I am even just fully Kemetic anymore. Unlike Aubs and other Kemetics who have so selflessly and diligently blogged about their daily practices and experiences, I found I was always driven kept them held close to the vest. I think that practice goes back to a couple of things. The major one is One because when I was fully Kemetic Orthodox, everything I did or didn’t do fell under such intense scrutiny – not by the organization necessarily, although there was that, but more importantly, myself. I gave up a lot of the skillset I fought hard for & stopped practicing most of them that I had done before when I became Kemetic.
Because of that, I spent years (!!!!) being angry, resentful, and feeling like I was completely cut off from what I knew. Josephine McCarthy’s Quareia course rather began the process. Now I feel my Indigenous ancestors pushing me and it feels like I’ve finally come home. The “Question” is complex, but it is many fo the things Aubs discusses here.
Of course, Kemet is still there, but it is only part of the picture. I confess, I am more private about my practices than most, but some days I don’t feel like doing anything magical or toward my Craft at all. But it’s the practice, in my view, that we definitely need.
One of the many little parts of my daily ritual includes the pulling of a daily card. I leave it out on the window sill beside my cupful of Ma’at to soak up the morning rays or the leaden skies that are forecast for the day. Sometimes, when I pull the card, I immediately understand it. It’s a reminder, a suggestion, and push in the right direction. Sometimes it begs me to slow down and to take care of myself. And sometimes it makes no sense whatsoever; it means nothing to me at the time. Whether it means something to me later is a matter of debate.
As part of this little ritual, I select a single deck to use for the month ahead. I prefer to use the same deck day-in and day-out for the full month because it helps me to understand decks that I may not…
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2 responses to “The Question.”
I know what you mean — I felt about the same when I was KO. I think one of the challenges is that Senut is the only ritual available to Shemsu, so it felt really difficult to grow and expand my practice; I also gave up some of my earlier practices since they didn’t fit KO’s canon, and started reintroducing them when I left. I hope you’re able to restart some of the practices that brought you joy too.
The Senut is fine, and I have not formally left the faith. However, there are certain parts of me that I can no longer deny – nor will I. SO I have no regrets, just moving forward…and that does bring me joy.