A long time ago, I once said that I never allowed myself to be disappointed. I had said that disappointment meant failure and that if you allowed for disappointment, you had resigned yourself to that failure. I also said that if you do that, you got exactly what you deserved.
Perhaps it is a little to admit to it, but this is not the first time, nor do I suspect that it would be my last in admitting that perhaps I was wrong in that assertion.
I used to think that there was much in my life that I wanted. When I was small, I had the most basic things taken away from myself and I confess I did as well as I might given the tools that I had been given. I looked around me and saw others who had the things that others had that I desired – power, pleasure and the ability to profit by all of these things was what it meant to live a whole and complete life. I took what I wanted, made those around me bend both neck and knee, but there was the disappointment. Make no mistake, I know what it is to feel disillusion through defeat or the the death of loved one. All of these things have dealt their blows over the centuries, but I have still remained.
While I do still hold that there is always more than a single way to bring about any given result. It is the means by which we set about achieving that thing which leads to disappointment. Attachment to the way that an outcome evolves can often be more of a struggle than to just let go. Certainly we can foretell the future if we keep that direct involvement in creating the future for oneself.
At least, that is to say, I want to still believe that it is true. And if I focus on those things which I still do have, such as my children, the Throne of the Fortunate Island and the strength that has carried me this far, rather than those things which I have lost, the disappointments and disillusionment really doesn’t account for all that much.
MuseL Fanny Fae / Faelyn
Fandom: Original Character/ Folklore / Mythology
Word Count: 341