1. Are you the person you wanted to be? Is anyone really ever the person they wanted to be?
But rather than being evasive by answering your question with another question, I will say, no. I am not. Being a bastard, halfling murderess and usurper at such a young age – or as in my case, needing to be one, definitely has its way of affecting you. There are those who say that when you do any sort of move toward seizing power, prestige and thereby profit from it, surely you are self-assured and ambitious. Lest you think that I ever had a problem sleeping over what I did, I assure you that I haven’t. I don’t like, having cast myself in this role, needing to always be conscious of the eyes that watch. And those never avert themselves, no matter how heinous the act I perform. There are few that can stand to be in the presence of that on a constant basis – and I would include myself.
2. Would you rather save yourself or another life? It would depend very much on who’s life I would be saving in lieu of my own. I have already given my life to my people since attaining the Throne of the Fortunate Island. I have waged war in order to defend them, and placed my own self upon the field of battle. Outside of that, there are but a few I would give my life for. I would, without hesitation, give my life to save that of my husband, Sebastien. When Olivier delivered the killing blow to him on that day, a part of me died with him. I took up my husband’s sword, covered in his blood, blinded by the tears and the rain that pelted down from the sky. I dared Athos – all but begging him to take my life, too. But he wouldn’t oblige me and my rash challenge. He turned his back on me and left me sobbing beside the body of my husband. Of course, it was good that he did not take up my challenge, for little did I know that I was carrying Sebastien’s and my daughter, Caroline at the time.
More than four hundred years later I retrieved him from the Land of the Dead. I guess you could say that I gave up those years of my life for him and for my obsession for having him in my life. Being immortal, of course, it isn’t often that one even contemplates the possibility of giving up your life for that of another, but if need be, those would be the circumstances.
3. Is honesty always the best policy? *laughing* Of course not! And if you are Fae, you cannot lie. Therein lies the paradox, for if you do, you are forsworn, and worthless. And if you do not, you risk exposing your motives all too quickly. However there are ways around the needing to be honest at all times. Don’t volunteer information unbidden; redirect the question, and learn to weave a truth so thin that it may as well be a lie… but it is – if only depending on perspective only – still the ‘truth’.
4. What is the most terrified you have ever been in your life? – There were a few times only. When I was four and my mother died and I was without the only friend I had ever known. I was suddenly within the care of Morgienne, my mother’s High Priestess and Queen, being raised by her. The other was finding myself in a gaol in Port Royal, being terrorized day and night by rats. I could neither sleep nor eat – because most of them were larger than I was! With no weapon but my wits to defend myself, it was as close to Hell as I ever want to come! The last being the prospect of facing the rest of my immortal life without Sebastien. Four hundred plus years is long enough to have gone without him. Make no mistake, I survived well enough, but not in a way that I would have wished. My Will would be fulfilled on the matter, and I would brook on argument on the subject from anyone.
5. What one bad or selfish thing are you glad you did? The list is too long to go into here. But for starters, I killed my foster mother, Morgienne, usurped the Throne of the Fortunate Island, and I obliterated all record of my predecessor’s name from all monuments, documents and such, consigning her to the Second Death – Oblivion, if you will. From that, there is no return. The only reason she lives at all in memory is because I choose to make it so. Think of of it sort of like tormenting the thirsty in Hell with a glass of ice water that is just out of their reach. I married the man I loved – the same man who had been earlier implicated in the killing of my affianced. I shunned and was shunned by many as a result. I am not at all sorry that I did what I did. I’d do no differently if it was mine to do over. I declared him my Prince Consort, even against the protestations of those among the Fae who insisted that my consort should have no blemish upon him. What rot! I take whom I wish and have done with it! Who are they to dictate to ME? What is worse, is when he was in fact slain, I moved all seven Realms of Existence to bring him back from the Land of the Dead. My motivations on all of these things were completely selfish in nature and if At the end of the day, it would all be the same.