– Thursday: Journal Entry

For more than four hundred years I had been obsessed with getting Sebastien back from the Realm of the Dead. For that entire time, I sought, searched, experimented and continuously failed.

Then came the day when all was in alignment and I had all but given up. Azazeal had offered a suggestion, just a mere suggestion, moved my elbow in the Rite and even in a somewhat delayed reaction, all that I had aimed for in those centuries came to fruition at last. And as if to affirm that what we had done was right, and just and necessary, Jocelyn Ysabetta was conceived. Sebastien could not have been happier.

Oh, yes. We already had Caroline – a daughter that I raised alone. A child that I was pregnant with when he was killed. Being dead, how could he know? And now Caroline, at the time of their introduction to one another, was herself four centuries old. It is hard to explain to a man once human, now made Immortal by bargains and bought by my own Sidhe blood about these things. Sometimes he looks at me in absolute exasperation at the world I have forced him back into. Was being in limbo, somewhere between not quite being in Hell nor in Heaven, nor being able to touch that which is on Earth somehow preferable to actually being here? Both he and Caroline were often confused by their newly discovered relationship to one another, but they both did their best.

Then came Jocelyn.

When she was still bloody and screaming, fresh from the womb, his one remaining eye glistened with tears. I have never in any of the Seven Realms of Existence ever seen a father more taken with his progeny. Even as she cried, I could see the absolute adoration for her in his expression. And within his arms she turned her tiny face toward the sound of his voice and quietened for just a moment or two -before the instinct of all infants asserted itself and she began rooting, howling when she could not find a breast immediately. Unlike so many fathers react when faced with a screaming infant, it was with great reluctance and the coaxing of Amarante’ that Sebastien finally handed Jocelyn back to me so that she might nurse.

For the whole of her childhood, Jocelyn adores her Papa certainly as much as he adores her. He has a bond with her that even I, as her mother cannot compete with. I adore my daughters and I am quite certain that they love me, too. But Sebastien has a bond with both of them that I have never known. Maybe it is because I lost my own mother at such a young age that I know not how mothers should be with their children. Perhaps I have spent so long being a Mother to my People that treating my blood daughters any differently seems so foreign to me that I am unable to do so. It often perplexes me, for Sebastien has no trouble separating the two instances. Come to think of it, even my Anam Cara, Hsu, who is unable to feel love, treats Daniel far differently than those whom he rules – or even has affection for. I sometimes lie awake at night trying to wrap my thoughts around it, but it still evades me.

Tonight on the Eve of Jocelyn’s fifteenth birthday, and the night before she is to embark to spend the next three years of her life on the Fortunate Island, away from France, barely seeing her father, I wonder just what it is that I have wrought. Neither of them know what I know. Sebastien knows not of Azazeal nor his involvement in everything, nor does Jocelyn know how dangerous dealing with the Fallen Ones can be. I have informed her and armed her as best as I can, but still she and Azazeal are quite taken with each other as friends – so I can only hope that she remembers what I taught her and he respects Jocelyn and myself and the alliance of the Sidhe and the Fallen Ones enough not to do something that all of us might regret. And yet….. I feel disturbances, tremors in the Seven Realms of Existence, and I face queries from every corner; ‘What is happening?’ and ‘Did you not feel that? ‘. Everyone is on edge, including myself and yet, just when I think I have discovered from what source these phenomena are coming, it evaporates and disappears completely. And when it manifests in another place and I look to it, it vanishes again in the same way that a firefly might dart and weave in the twilight. Only the most careful of observers can calculate where it will appear next.

At daybreak, Jocelyn and I will go to the Fortunate Island – and her father, according to custom, must remain here for a period of time. The fact that he the Consort of the Queen has nothing to do with it. I know that there will be tears and Sebastien will take out his melancholy at her absence on everyone in the vicinity. It is my hope that Hsu, Marius, or even Amrante’ and Thomas might be able to distract him just enough that he makes life at the Château de Rochefort completely unbearable for everyone else. Hopefully Jocelyn can also be distracted with how busy she will be learning all that she must on the Fortunate Island – but I am expecting her to be equally petulant and stubborn in her resolve.

I have a feeling, however, he will be completely unmoved by any of our efforts until he has Jocelyn back here with him once more.

Muse: Fanny Fae
Fandom: Original Character / Folklore / Mythology
Word Count: 954

all_forme. 1st_of_the200, civ_barbarian, sunnotshadows, faedefrance & t_rainsborough are lovingly and reverently mentioned in this ongoing storyline.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “– Thursday: Journal Entry

  1. OOC

    This piece it just wonderful, and of my two mentioned muses one is smug and looks like he doesn’t know what at all Faelyn is on about, and the other pleased and also wondering how he can distract Sebastien.

    And lovely foreshadowing. 🙂

    • Re: OOC

      Yeah, SURE he doesn’t know! *g* She’s not stupid! She’s got eyes! 😉

      As for how Hsu can distract Sebastien: Let us say that whatever he decides, I am sure it will be very well received. 😉

      • Re: OOC

        Y’see, that’s what I keep trying to tell him. No one buys that “who me?” look for a second.

        I’ll see what he can come up with them. *g*

      • Re: OOC

        Seriously…after shopping with him…COME ON!!!

        *Hugs* Thanks! Oh, was the response in the Hsu is sick thread ok? Frances was being rather stern, but she wanted Daniel to know the truth and to tell him there was no risk…well, she couldnt go along with that idea. 😉

        BTW, I nearly went off on a rant today. I saw a “Fallen Angel” muse in Charloft that is cute and young and pretty that can come and go from heaven and he is ever so sweet. Faelyn was not amused…and neither was I. Too pretty to be a demon apparently! LOL!

      • Re: OOC

        He says you bought the stuff, didn’t you? *g*

        Oh, it was great. Yes, that balance there was good…as she said, he’s almost a man and having the realities laid out is good for him.

        I went and found the post…omfg! I burst out laughing that there are, apparently, ‘more greyish sects’ of angels! A character like that is just made so they can still be Good, but can screw around without real consequence. Gah! Almost wish you had gone off on a rant. *g*

      • Re: OOC

        Well, this is true. I certainly stand behind my purchasing and sinful nature decisions! 😉

        Good. I was concerned about that. I sometimes think that Frances would have been a very good mother to a son and that would be interesting dynamic. Hmmm….

        In that thread, I also wanted to make sure that Amrante’ wasn’t overlooked since we sent for her and all. Besides, this may add to the dynamic between she and Hsu – and I know that the two of them absolutely LOVE to antagonise each other! 😉

        LOL! I thougt you would enjoy that! While I do personally believe that all magick is “Grey” and that the whole White Magick vs. Black Magick, etc. is a complete oversimplification, there are times when the little teeny boppers who have barely enough Wicca behind their ears to be considered damp let alone aedepts! There’s still time for a rant, of course – but I am late getting prompts out because I had to pay my late fees of (get this) $1.20 so they would not revoke my driver’s license!! *rolls eyes* The whole episode has been one big fiasco but it’s taken care of now and prompts are forthcoming.

        Oh, and Azzie Baby is quoted profusely throughout! 😉

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